Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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