That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
