Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
