You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
