DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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