im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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