Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
