i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
