She said her name was "party"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
as a side note pls kill me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
