On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
