it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
