somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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