I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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