My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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