you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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