lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book