dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.