He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.