What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking