he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
wow bdsm is so cute
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
