Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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