On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
