just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
