I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
