we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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