Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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