so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
