Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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