im about as happy as oj after his trial
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
