One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
