There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You took a bar mat shot.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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