His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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