The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
