I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I faked an abortion last night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
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omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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