That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
