It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize