the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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