You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
