If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
