so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just invented taco cereal.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
