Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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