We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
FUCK WHALES
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize