I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
