You're so nebulous sometimes
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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