one two three fourrrrnication!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
