It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
