I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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