he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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