I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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