her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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