She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I had to cum in my sink.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
