I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I did not marry a roomba.
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