I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
