Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
