you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
