Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
