They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
ugly people sure do ruin things
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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