So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
